Start thinking of strangers as people who can bring new dimensions to your life, not as persons to be feared.

So dating is a great opportunity to hear someone else’s stories. Listen to them actively and empathetically – and even share some of your own when it’s appropriate – but don’t kill the conversation with domination. Listening is a great way to find out if there’s something worth pursuing in that person sitting across from you.

The truth is, most people don’t want advice – they want empathy and compassion.

All things being equal, people will buy from a friend. All things being not quite so equal, people will still buy from a friend.

Acquaintances. Seek out what’s new and keep the conversation rolling with questions like these:•Bring me up to date on . . .•What’s been going on with work since I last saw you?•What has changed in your life since we spoke last?•How’s your year been?•What’s new with the family?•How’s your wife/husband/partner?•How’s your job at . . . ?•What are your child’s college plans?

The key is to have a genuine interest in what the other person is saying, along with a genuine desire to hear the response. So while you get to be quiet, you do not get to be passive. You must actively participate in the conversation.

Showing genuine interest is flattering and essential to conversing. If you are interested in how I lost sixtyfive pounds or how I started my business or anything else about me, I feel special. I also think positively about you and want to continue talking with you. The more interest you show in me, the more interesting you become to me. The simple act of truly being interested in the other person has an amazing effect on the conversation — it just snowballs!

No matter what your chosen topic of conversation, I cannot overstate the importance of being authentic when talking with someone. If you are not genuinely interested in what the other person is saying, no amount of planning or preparation will save you from a doomed conversation. Interest in someone else cannot be feigned.

Feel-good factorIf you want a promotion but come across as aloof or reserved, you’ll be overlooked in favor of someone who has warm “people skills”—skills that make others feel good about being around them.

Ending a conversation by showing appreciation for the interchangeYou emanate poise and self-confidence when you bid adieu by expressing your gratitude and praising your partner in some way. This is accomplished in much the same way as using a compliment to forward a conversation, and the same rule applies: Be genuine. Done sincerely, offering gratitude will produce a wave of goodwill and a positive association with your name.